why am i so insecure in my relationship
It is common for people to feel insecure in their relationships at times.
There are many possible reasons why you may be feeling insecure in your relationship.
Here are some possible causes of insecurity in relationships and how to improve.
1. Lack of communication
If you and your partner are not communicating openly and honestly with each other, you may be left to interpret their actions and words on your own, which can lead to feelings of insecurity.
How to improve?
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Try a communication exercise, such as the "mirroring." These exercises involve repeating back what your partner has said to you and allowing them to clarify their thoughts and feelings.
What is mirroring?
To do the mirroring exercise, one person should start by sharing their thoughts or feelings with their partner. The partner should then repeat back what they heard, using their own words to summarize and reflect on what was said. The first person can then provide feedback and clarify any misunderstandings.
For example, if the first person says, "I'm feeling really overwhelmed with work right now," the partner might respond by saying, "So you're feeling really stressed out because of work." The first person can then say, "Yes, I'm feeling really overwhelmed and I could use some support."
By repeating back and summarizing what their partner has said, the second person is demonstrating that they have heard and understood what was said. This can help to build trust and connection in the relationship and can also provide an opportunity for the first person to share more about their thoughts and feelings.
Create a communication jar
Create a "communication jar" and fill it with conversation starters or prompts. Whenever you and your partner are struggling to find something to talk about, pull out a prompt from the jar to start a conversation.
2. Past experiences
If you have been hurt or betrayed in past relationships, you may be carrying that baggage with you into your current relationship and feeling unsure of your partner's intentions.
If you are feeling insecure in your current relationship due to past experiences, there are a few steps you can take to improve your feelings of insecurity.
Talk about it
Talk to your partner about your past experiences and how they are affecting your current relationship. This will allow your partner to understand where you are coming from and offer support and reassurance.
Seek the support of a therapist or counselor
A professional can help you work through your past experiences and develop healthy coping strategies for dealing with insecurity.
Practice self-care and focus on building your self-esteem. This will help you feel more confident and secure in your relationship.
3. Differences in needs and expectations
If you and your partner have different expectations or needs in the relationship, you may be feeling unsure of where you stand and whether your partner is truly committed to making the relationship work.
For this, all you need is to talk about it.
4. Insecurities about yourself
If you have low self-esteem or are struggling with issues such as anxiety or depression, you may be projecting those insecurities onto your relationship and doubting your partner's love and support.
How to improve insecurities about yourself
Try a new hobby or activity that you have always wanted to try
This could be anything from painting to cooking to martial arts. By trying something new, you can discover new talents and interests, and build self-confidence.
Create a vision board or mood board that reflects your goals, dreams, and values
This can serve as a visual reminder of what you want and who you want to be, and can provide motivation and inspiration.
Dress up in a costume
Dress up in a costume or disguise and go out in public.
This can be a fun and liberating experience that allows you to express yourself in a new way and challenge any fears or insecurities you may have about being judged or rejected.
Join a drumming circle or percussion ensemble
Drumming can be a powerful and primal way to express yourself and release any pent-up emotions or energy. It can also help you develop coordination and rhythm, and can be a fun and social activity.
5. Outside influences
If you are being influenced by the opinions of others or by the media, you may be feeling pressure to conform to certain standards in your relationship, which can cause insecurity.